


Seafoam

by AshaCrone



Series: Kindness to strangers [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Black Paladin Keith, Body Dysphoria, Broken Hearts, Childbirth, Implied Mpreg, Join the Voltron Coalition!, M/M, Moving On, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshaCrone/pseuds/AshaCrone
Summary: Keith knew what death felt like, and Shiro wasn't it. More like a gaping hole in the universe.But now he has to figure out how to deal with a group of people who have no idea where they are going and what they are doing, accept the role of Black Paladin, and deal with accepting his Galra blood.Still, he's not alone. His mother is there, Ulaz is still hanging around for some reason, and Kolivan is willing to bend an ear. Hunk, too, always seems willing to lend his support; he's a leg, after all. Yet he feels divided on who he wants to be, and letting go of his old life is harder than he would have thought possible.





	1. Chapter One

Keith barely paid attention to Hunk as they boarded the Yellow Lion to go out to the weblum. His mind was still back with Ulaz revelations about… well, everything.

He had awakened his Blade. Now, Keith _knew_ , rather than just having a suspicion, that he wasn’t all human. He knew that his Mama wasn’t human. His Mama was Galra. 

He also had found out that his mother still thought about him. Missed him, even, if what Ulaz said was true. His Mama had a camera full of pictures and the old book-

Keith almost didn’t catch when Hunk said started complaining about how Allura was going to the Balmera while they had go to fly into the belly of giant space worm to get scaultrite?

“You heard Coran. Building a giant teleduv isn’t easy. Everyone has a job to do.” The guilt of wanting to hop into Red and go searching for his Mama when there was a universe out there that needed saving made his chest ache and clenched his lungs. But Ulaz had said that his mother had a difficult job and going to find him might put him in jeopardy.

“But I always get the worst jobs,” Hunk whined. “Go to a Galra occupied planet to get my Lion. Go to a Galra-occupied Balmera to get a crystal. Go to into a belly of some beast with the only Galra team member.”

Keith pressed his lips together. “I’m not an alien.” Ulaz had been pretty clear on _why_ Keith looked human… and why it had upset some of the Blades. 

“Well, you’re kind of an alien. You’re way more alien than me. You’re at least _some_ alien. I’m, I’m _none_ alien.”

Keith sighed. “Let’s just- let’s just concentrate on the job here,” he said, trying to get Hunk to refocus, because God knew he was having hard enough time doing it.

“Yeah.” And instead of listening, Hunk turned to face him fully. “Was your mom the alien? Your grandpa? How alien are you?”

Shiro knew. Keith was pretty sure that Ulaz had told him, given how he had hugged Keith and told him it was okay. But the others..? They all knew he had Galra blood. And if he didn’t fess up now, Hunk might go through his things anyways. “My mother,” Keith answered after a moment. “Ulaz told me.”

“Say what?” Hunk’s jaw dropped.. “And how did Ulaz know? I mean, he seems to know a lot. He told us about the Blade of Marmora and all but-”

“He was the one who came for my mother, after I was born,” Keith said, after he shifted his weight. “He had proof. There was an old camera with pictures of me. All of us. Me, Dad, Mama…”

“So it _was_ your mom?” He perked up, surprised. “Huh. So. Um. Ulaz recognized you?”

Now it was Keith’s turn to frown. “I think so. I hadn’t asked him.”

“And your mom is some sort of spy? Huh. Y’know, I was starting to think female Galra didn’t exist. Did she, like, I don’t know, try to infiltrate Earth?”

“Female Galra don’t exist.”

“Hokay.” Hunk peered at him. “And you just contradicted yourself. Because, um, I’m pretty sure you just said-”

Keith covered his face, trying not to scream. “It’s- it’s complicated. Ulaz said Galra do both. Have both. But not at the same time. So my mom looks like a male Galra but-” he lifted his hands. “So they don’t do sex the same way we do.”

“Um. Wow. So.” A strange expression crossed his face. “Now I’m thinking about pregnant Galra and that’s kinda- and baby Galra. Galra have babies.” The look on his face turned to near panic. “Galra have _families?_ ”

“I don’t know- I guess? I mean, the pictures showed my dad and my mom together and they looked happy but Ulaz said the Blade of Marmora didn’t know-”

“What? They didn’t know?” And here Hunk was tilting his head to the side. “So, what, why?”

“Ulaz said they didn’t tell them. Like it was a scandal.”

Hunk scratched his chin before letting out a long whistle. “Man. Your life just turned into a soap opera.”

Keith looked away and crossed his arms. “Whatever. Can we- can we change the subject? I mean, Allura interrogated me before about this and she hates me now.” But he hadn’t shown her his pictures. Not when she looked like she might take the camera away.

“Allura doesn’t _hate_ you. You just need to give her time to accept that you’re Galra, the race that destroyed her planet and all of her people.” And even Hunk seemed to realize that this was going to far. “Yeah, she might hate you a little.”

Keith grimaced and turned away. “Let’s just watch the video that Coran uploaded and stay on task, okay?”

Hunk blew threw his lips, nodding to him, turning towards the console, hand hovering over the button. “Hey, Keith?”

“What?”

“Could I see your pictures? Y’know, later, when we’re not trying to save the universe?”

Keith blinked, staring at the back of his helmeted head. “Why?”

“Because… Galra having families.” His voice got soft. “I don’t like the Galra. After seeing what they had done, on the Balmera… I think I need to see that. I need to remember that not all Galra are Zarkon’s soldiers.”

Keith blinked at the back of his helmet for several moments. “Oh.” It left an odd feeling in his chest. “Sure.”

~*~*~*~*~

Keith really hadn’t meant to spy on Shiro.

He had noticed that Shiro hadn’t said much, when they were talking about what they might do in universe after Voltron. He intended to ask Shiro if he would want to come with him while he searched for his Mama…

Only to come across what was obviously a private moment between him and Ulaz.

He ducked against a shadowed wall, and stood there. He had hoped for a moment to interrupt, but, well, even he knew this wasn’t the conversation for it. Shiro and Ulaz were comfortable with each other, talking about moving forward together… and Keith slipped away. 

He slipped away, swallowing down frustrated, wistful could-have-beens, and reminded himself that Ulaz wasn’t _stealing_ his best friend. Ulaz had been there for Shiro when Keith couldn’t. Ulaz had been gazing longingly at Shiro ever since he had come on board the Castle. (And he tried to ignore how he knew those lookings were longing.)

Shiro had given those looks right back. 

Keith felt like he had barbed wire tied around his heart, but he was happy for them, too. His Dad had never gotten over his Mama, no matter how much he had tried. He could still remember asking his Dad why he didn’t find someone new. 

His Dad had picked him up, put him on his shoulders and taken him outside to look at the stars, with Princess following on their heels. _Son_ , he had said, and Keith could still imagine him, embarrassing thick drawl and all. Smiling, weathered, kind, but always a little paranoid. _Son, sometimes someone takes up such a big place in your heart it is hard to find room for someone else. I got your Momma, you, Princess. Any more’n that’d be greedy._

Keith swallowed hard and turned away. 

He wandered back to the Castle. Back to his room. He found the old camera, turned it on, kicked off his boots and tossed his jacket off, as he sat cross-legged on the bed. 

Picture 143 came up. This was of his Mama and himself buried under Princess’s first litter of puppies. Keith knew they had been given away by the time he could walk, but Princess had others. He could almost feel them, warm and fuzzy, licking his face like they were licking Mama.

Seeing a Galra getting his face licked, his face lit in a smile-

The knock on his door interrupted his memories.

“Yeah?” Keith muttered, putting down the camera and padding towards the door. Maybe Shiro-

And Hunk stood there, holding a tray and looking sheepish. “Hey.”

Keith blinked at him. Several times. “Hi. Um. What-”

“Well, you said I could look at those pictures. I wanted to see if the offer was still on the table.” He thrust the tray into Keith’s face. “And, I brought snacks! I got some stuff from the Olkari-”

And the scent wafting off the rusty orange disks and pale green liquid was more than enough to get Keith to let Hunk into the room. His stomach growled, and Keith took the tray and put it on his bed. He glanced at Hunk, and gestured with his chin for him to take a seat as well, before picking up the camera and turning it on. “I was looking at this one.”

“Oh my god.” Hunk’s eyes went wide. “Is that- oh wow. That- that’s your mom?” Keith nodded as he covered his mouth. “That is so cute. And you. Being assaulted by puppies. A Galra being smothered in puppies. That is so cute and weird it should be illegal.” He let out a snorting giggle as he thumbed the dial on the camera. 

“Awww,” he cooed.”So this is your Dad?” Hunk asked, thrusting the camera back into Keith’s face.

Keith, who had jammed one of the round orange things in his mouth, nearly choked as he tried to inhale. He managed to swallow down the cookie (vaguely sweet and citrusy) with a swig of the warm liquid (juice? maybe?), and slapped his own chest a few times. He looked down at the picture. 

His Dad was doing a selfie with Mama, kissing one of his fluffy ears. Mama’s expression was fond, amused, and a little embarrassed. Keith saw his own dark head was under Mama’s chin. 

“Yeah.” 

“He looks really happy.”

“Dad never said anything about Mama being a Galra, but-” Keith hunched his shoulder, toggling the next picture. It was one where they were playing fetch with Princess. “He never said anything bad about him. Just that he loved him and missed him.” Keith shrugged and passed the camera back.

“I’m glad we found out about the Blade of Marmora,” Hunk said, after a moment. “And wow. That dog was smart.”

“Yeah. Princess lived to be… she had to be at least sixteen when she died.” His throat tried to close up. Losing that dog had hurt. “Dad used to say that the only reason she didn’t talk was because she thought we were too stupid to understand her.” 

“Heh. I like her. But wow, she was scary.” The next picture showed her with what looked to be a young deer in her teeth. The next was Mama helping to clean it.

“Good dog, though.”

“You were half-raised by a… husky?”

“Wolf-dog.”

“And that explains so much about you.” His smile lessened some of the sting, as he thumbed to a different picture. “It… I’m not sure how I feel. Seeing this. A Galra… who isn’t being all, well, murder-y.”

“We have a mission.” Keith felt his voice go flat. “Knowing that Galra are people shouldn’t change that.”

“Yeah, but it does.” Hunk’s face darkened. “Seeing what they did to Shay and her people- just- how? Why?” He looked up at Keith. “They can care. I mean, it’s pretty obvious your mom loved your dad. Loved you. And Ulaz is head over heels for Shiro. Somehow, that makes things almost _worse_.”

“Ulaz said they wanted stability. I wish we knew what happened. I mean, after seeing this… they’re not always horrible,” and he waved at the camera. “But Zarkon is still in power.”

Hunk nodded, silent this time. He kept looking through the pictures, and Keith kept eating the… cookies. They were really good, and he hadn’t eaten in vargas. Hunk kept commenting, until he got to the picture of Mama reading to a Keith who had sprawled in his lap.

The next picture was of Keith, with crayons, writing all over the same book.

“He took that with him, when he left,” Keith told him. “Dad bought a new copy and read it to me every night. Same time.” It seemed important, for someone else to understand this. Why it mattered. “Ulaz said… Mama would do the same thing. Same time, every quintant, if he could, he would read the book.”

Hunk wibbled.

“I don’t get it. I just. How? They hurt Shiro, took Pidge’s parents, destroyed so many worlds and lives.” Hunk’s face was usually laid back. Friendly. Sometimes kinda green. But now he looked dark and serious. “And then to see- what? They know how to care? They can love their families?”

“You make it sound like humans are any better. We’re not,” Keith answered, crossing his arms and tilting his head. “Humans are Galra with a late start.”

Hunk lifted an eyebrow. “Not all humans are like that.”

Keith took the camera out of his hands. “Then maybe… not all Galra.”

Hunk chuckled. “Point made.” He sighed. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He looked away. 

“Right. Dude. I’m fat, not stupid. Allura was all ‘Keith’s a monster!’ for a few quintants and now your crush on Shiro’s been all-”

And Keith felt his face light up like Christmas and looked away. “I’m fine. Shiro’s happy. Ulaz makes him happy. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah. And that’s really nice and selfless of you, Keith, but you also beat up a bunch of Garrison guys to save Shiro and go nuts whenever he’s in danger. It’s okay to be upset about that.”

Keith lifted his eyes, and Hunk was staring at him, before he looked away again. “I never said anything to him and he didn’t notice.” He shifted his weight. “So it’s okay. It’s my fault for keeping quiet.”

Hunk was quiet for a few moments. “We were all talking about how the plan would go right, earlier. And I know I’m the paranoid one, but I’m going to see if I can find a way to talk to Shay. I mean, I don’t know if we’re going to be anything more than good friends, but I want her to know what she did for me, helped me want to fight. And while it’s pretty awkward right now, maybe you could go talk to Shiro about it?”

Keith frowned. “There’s nothing to say. He’s my friend, he-” Keith rubbed at the scar on his shoulder from the Blade of Marmora trial. It was little more than a faint pink line, after Ulaz had treated it. As much as he was tempted to hate the Galra, Ulaz had been… kind. And while he hadn’t told Keith _everything_ he had wanted to know, he had at least told Keith the reasons why he wouldn’t. 

It was the most Keith had ever known, and Ulaz had implied that maybe, after this battle, he could tell Keith Mama’s name.

So even if Ulaz was taking the attention of Keith’s most important person… Keith thought that maybe his heart wasn’t too full, just yet. Ulaz had found a place as a friend, despite himself.

It was a weird feeling.

“I’ll talk to them,” Keith said, after a moment. Hunk peered into his face before nodding to himself- and swept him up in a hug that left Keith sputtering.

“You’re learning, Galra Keith!” Hunk teased, before picking up the empty tray and leaving.

~*~*~*~*~

Somehow, that conversation never happened.

It hadn’t bothered Keith too much at the time. 

Instead he had found Shiro and Ulaz, walking together towards the Lion hangars. He had given Shiro a hug, and then offered Ulaz an open hand. The pale Galra had given him a wistful, shaky smile and clasped his arm, before leaning down and telling him that his dam would be proud.

His eyes had burned and his throat had closed; Ulaz had purred in response, while Shiro squeezed his shoulder.

He had never been good with words. It seemed like enough.

Until it wasn’t. Until they had actually lost Shiro.

Keith had seen the moment that Black had gone limp, broken, like someone had cut the puppet’s strings. He had felt it, too; an empty void where Shiro should be. 

And behind him, he heard his Mama’s lungs rattle as he coughed and hacked, and his energy go dim. Keith panicked. 

“Hunk, Lance, grab Shiro. I need to get Thace back to the Castle ship and into a ‘fresher pod,” he ordered, voice breaking. “He’s…” He’s Mama. I found Mama and he’s coughing up blood on the deck of my Lion. I want to find those druids and rip them to pieces. He heard them answer, as he sent Red back towards the Castle and to their wormhole. “Coran, Allura, Ulaz? Do you hear me?”

“ _We are here_ ,” Ulaz answered, and Keith fought down the sob of relief. 

Thace’s breathing slowed, and Keith couldn’t hear him as he did his best to fly them in, level and smooth, even though they were about to wormhole away with the Command ship coming back on line. “Stay with me, Mama,” he murmured, trying to resist the urge to twist around to look at Thace, needing to keep his eyes open for the hangar. “Please. Don’t die.” _Don’t leave me again._

He felt the energy of the wormhole; the sheer force Allura could muster was staggering. Red seemed to note his concern and dropped lightly, graceful as the cat she resembled, without jarring either of them. She radiated worry, even as Keith leapt from his seat to check Thace… and his heart lodged in his throat at how weakly he was breathing, unresponsive to his calls. 

He didn’t realize he was crying for Thace until Red lowered her jaws and gangplank. Almost a mewl, and he struggled to lift his dead weight. 

“We have him, Keith,” Ulaz’s rough voice answered, and Keith realized he couldn’t see his face through the tears. 

“This is- it’s really-”

“Your dam, yes,” and this time it was Kolivan who answered, putting his hands on Keith’s shoulders. “Keith, it will be fine. We need to take him.”

Keith dashed the tears off his face, standing up, an upset whine coming from his throat as Kolivan and Ulaz picked up Thace to move him to a floating stretcher. He trailed after them, his entire focus on his Mama-

“Keith?”

Until Allura interrupted him. “Keith, we need to get into the Black Lion. She’s not responding.”

He wasn’t sure when she had arrived. She was standing beside Coran, both of them staring at the tableau of bringing Thace down. “I’ll go with them to the med bay,” Coran said, before pushing Allura towards Keith.

To her credit, she gave him a moment to wipe his eyes again. “Black is not opening, or responding to us at all. Shiro-” 

And Keith took off, running as fast as his legs would carry him, feeling like he had swallowed shrapnel. 

None of them really questioned why Black would open her jaws for Keith. Keith didn’t, not right then, but he felt the other Paladins skating in behind him as he called, this time for Shiro. All he could say was Shiro’s name, over and over again.

He was already snapping orders; they had go to back. Search the area. Shiro might still be there. Might still be alive.

Except that Allura was calmly contradicting him: going back would mean going back into a hostile war zone, to an area that was infested with Zarkon’s forces. 

Keith met her eyes. Took a deep breath. Howling and punching Allura would not bring Shiro back. Screaming and crying wouldn’t help Mama heal faster. 

He took a deep breath. _Patience yields focus_. “I don’t- Shiro’s not dead.” The space he should be in ached like an empty socket, but he wasn’t _dead_.

“We aren’t saying that he is,” Allura answered. “But we don’t know what happened, and going back to that sector of space, for the time being, would be ill advised.”

This time, Keith let his fist fly, directing it to Black’s seat. He knew what she was saying: the Command Ship might still be there, probably was, and it was fully active. It would be suicide for them to go back. 

Keith took another deep breath and let it out. “Pidge, Hunk. Can you guys check all of the flight data from the Lions? Black included?” 

“We’ll do our best,” Pidge said, before Hunk nodded as well. Hunk clapped him on the shoulder. 

“So, what should I do?” Lance asked, after a moment. “I’m not going to any good right now.”

Allura walked over to Lance and took his arm. His face promptly went from brown to pink, to a red that rivaled Keith’s uniform. “We can… we can go to the bridge. And search from there. I think Keith should see to the other Blades of Marmora.” She made eye contact with him, and tilted her head. “I think that you… found your dam?”

“Damn? He gave one then got it back?” Lance asked, befuddled as he was lead away. 

Keith took another long, shuddering breath. He had found his mother.

Lost Shiro.

He tilted back and forth for a few moments, not sure which direction to go. Black stood in front of him, and he scowled at her. “What did you do? How could you allow that to happen to him?” he demanded, not sure who he was addressing. “You were meant to protect him.”

He closed his eyes; he could sense Red almost kneading on the deck from nerves, tail lashing even if her physical form wasn’t, flames licking out around her. Yellow was weight, stability, a shield over Hunk even if he couldn’t see it. Green was curious, somehow watching over Pidge’s shoulder even as she started downloading the flight logs off of Black. 

Blue was in her hangar, radiating peace, like the ocean on a calm day, familiar as autumn rain. He knew her best. 

Allura was a bright flame beside Lance as they walked away. 

Keith turned towards the door of the hangar. Shiro’s absence from the ship was an aching, raw wound, like a missing limb. Not dead, dead was different. Dead was a release, not an an absence. Dead was like-

Like feeling sun-hot stone chill after the sun and Keith’s eyes snapped open, finding one last rush of adrenaline to get to the med bay.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Humans, Thace thought, would probably not have credited Galra with maternal instincts. Most species in the universe assumed that Galra reproduced asexually or via cloning. 

None of that was true, Thace thought, as he waited for his prey to leave his quarters. 

It had been a little over a day since Thace had come out of the refresher, and Keith had not allowed himself to be alone with Thace again. Truth be told, Keith had shut down almost as soon as Thace had asked what Jake’s fate had been.

It was okay, though. Keith didn’t have to say. The only way Jake would have let Keith leave Earth was if he was dead. 

The urge to keen was strong; to let himself mourn. But the rest of him insisted that he needed to make sure his whelp was well and safe… even if Keith didn’t seem interested in speaking to him anymore.

That was okay, he told himself. Their relationship couldn’t be anything but complicated. He would stay as long as Keith would allow him to be there. He just needed to satisfy his need to know that Keith was healthy first. 

Galra instincts toward their whelps happened to be quite strong. Combined with a spy’s training, and Keith didn’t notice when Thace was following him to meetings with Ulaz. Instead, he saw Thace happen to be chatting with the red-haired Altean. He never saw Thace go into to his room to rifle through and see what was there and fight, mightily, with the urge to straighten everything and toss his clothing, blankets and sheets into the recycler.

He lost that fight. He wasn’t sure how to explain that one…

Keith also wasn’t eating well. All of the children on this ship were eating Altean food goo, except when their Yellow Paladin cooked for them. Which seemed to be only when he wasn’t busy.

That wouldn’t do. 

And somehow Thace found himself poking through their pantry, through the food goo and its presets, even rifled through the pans. He sucked on his teeth in thought; the paladins ~~Keith~~ needed something more palatable. 

Nothing was usable for the Earth food he remembered, but he could...

He lost himself in the illusion of peace; he knew a Galran soup recipe that should be tasty for the humans and there was something soothing about going through the simple motions. In letting the cleaver’s weight carry his hands as he chopped what few tubers went into the sustenance. They had some legume-proteins as well, and-

“What are you making?” a druid hissed in his ear.

And Thace jumped, bringing the knife up to slash at the monster and he was back, back on the table and barely able to escape-

“ _Peace_ ,” one of the druids said, because there were two of them. The second one was much shorter, face incredibly nervous as he backed-

“You are safe,” the tall one said. His voice was familiar. “You are in the Castle of Lions. Do you know who I am?”

The taller druid was… “Leader.” His ears flattened in embarrassment, even as he fought to calm his racing heart and lungs. His wrist ached-

Probably because Kolivan was gripping it, tight enough to bruise, keeping his knife hand immobile. “Forgive me.”

The smaller form was one of the Paladins. To Thace’s relief, it wasn’t Keith who had seen his lapse. “No, no,” Hunk said. “I’m sorry I startled you.” There was a look of concern on his face. “But, um…” He walked up and took the knife out of Thace’s hands. “Yeah. How about you tell me what you were doing and I finish it?”

“It appears you were making…” And then Kolivan released is wrist, walking to stare at the fresh foods laid out, the chopped vegetables, and the tiny array of spices. “Ufoti opam?” Kolivan almost never smiled, but his face was soft. “I hope you will make enough for everyone.”

Thace let out a self-conscious laugh. “These were the ingredients on hand. But no blue naeb paste.”

“There does seem to be some orange chili oil,” Kolivan added, nodding to the counter. “It is an easy substitute.”

Hunk, though, was smiling broadly. “You guys got some Galra speciality? I’m all for trying new recipes.”

“Ufoti opam is a childhood dish. It’s usually made for Galra whelps who are picky eaters. Though adults still can enjoy it. Rather like…” He almost compared it to mac and cheese or hot dogs, but stopped himself. “It’s nutritious, filling, but not strongly flavored.”

“Which is why you add more chili oil,” Kolivan added. 

“Add all you like. We are sick of the goo,” Hunk said cheerfully. “Want to show me more?” He eyed Kolivan, and Thace himself, before stepping up. “We can get more supplies from the… I think it’s a fridge, but I think it actually puts food into cryo storage.”

The room was quiet as Hunk got more supplies and Thace shook his wrist, his ears twitching in embarrassment and no small dread as Kolivan stood behind him. 

“I didn’t know you could cook?” Kolivan said. To Thace’s surprise, lines were appearing in the corner of his eyes, as close to a smile as Leader ever came. “I am surprised that a hardened spy would cultivate such skills.”

“A spy takes on the roll most needed,” Thace reminded him. “And adapts to their circumstances.” He grabbed some of the soft breen he had been chopping and popped it in his mouth; it was squishier but almost identical to chicken. “But I don’t know what Keith needs, yet.”

“You tried just asking him?” 

For such a large human, neither Blade had noticed his approach. Or if Kolivan had, he gave no sign. 

Thace felt a tremor go down his arms. “How much do you know? Do the other Paladins-”

Hunk scratched the back of his neck. “Just me. I kinda, um, snooped and asked him and he showed me his camera that he got from Ulaz and wow, um, so you- um. Hi. You’re really Keith’s mom?”

“I…” Denial seemed futile. “Yes.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

Thace shrugged, and Kolivan’s shoulders dropped. “He has avoided me. Perhaps he wishes me to leave. Yet I do not think I could-” and he couldn’t stop his voice from breaking. “Leaving him again-”

“Are you going to cry?” Hunk sounded panicked. “I mean, I can’t stand watching moms cry. My mom cries and I’m suddenly a mess-”

Behind Hunk, Kolivan’s face stayed neutral, but the small lines around his eyes smoothed. “That may not be your decision.”

Thace’s ears went back and he nearly bared his teeth. _“Leader-”_

“You know Keith might not want you in his life. If he makes that decision, the Princess may not allow you to stay,” Kolivan said, slowly and deliberately. “While she has softened her opinion after,” and Thace’s ears tilted up and forward, towards Kolivan as he paused. “After our recent losses, she still might balk at having two Galra take permanent residence aboard her ship.”

“Two?” Hunk asked, casting his eyes back and forth between them.

“Ulaz has not spoken openly of this, but he has barely left his terminal in the Red Lion’s hangar outside of checking on you, Thace.” Kolivan’s own ears twitched. “He is consumed with finding the Black Paladin.” Thace flicked his ears as well in concern for his old friend. “Prying him away would be damaging.”

“Why? Can you just order him back?” Hunk asked. 

“I could, yes. But it would mean having half a soldier. Surely you witnessed him throw himself into the maw of one of Haggar’s beasts? All to save your Black Paladin?” Hunk winced. “Galra are given to strong emotions. Anger, hate, contempt, disgust, are often what the universe sees, and those feelings do consume us until they have run their course. But we also feel love, loyalty, devotion, sympathy and empathy, in equal or greater measure. Ulaz loves your Black Paladin, and until his grief has had time to fade, he will unable to spare energy for other duties, no matter how much we or even he would wish it.”

“Oh.” Hunk blinked. “That’s pretty intense.”

“It is a virtue to keep yourself controlled at all times, despite the emotional cost,” Thace added. “So we… ah…”

“Boom,” Hunk muttered. “So half-Galra get the same thing?”

“The best explanation would be having a Galra brain and nervous system in a body that mimics their non-Galra parent,” Thace offered. 

“Second generation varies,” Kolivan added. “If they breed with the non-Galra species, they subsequent offspring look and act indistinguishable from that population. They breed with more Galra… Offspring half a fifty-percent chance of appearing Galra, or like a local.” His face darkened. “Those Galra can usually pass, but their line may produce… surprises… later on.”

Thace’s ears went flat. 

“You guys seem to have a lot of traits humans wouldn’t put together. I mean, Antok had a tail, but not all of you do. I’ve seen a few others with a tail, scales, horns-” and he shrugged. “Humans are pretty uniform- sometimes we have extra fingers and toes but not, like, hooves. We’re different colors and sizes but we all have skin, mostly.”

“Diabazaal was the name of our homeworld,” Kolivan said. “Early in our history, we were three different species of distinct evolutionary lineages from separate continents. Eventually the Galra became dominant, but not through competition. We simply absorbed them into our population.” 

Thace coughed. “And this is why we usually trace our bloodlines and live with the clan of our dams. Even with genetic testing, births can often result in a... surprise.”

This time it was Kolivan’s ears that twitched, almost going flat to his head. “Indeed.”

Thace took a note of that for later. “Summing up: Ulaz and I are compromised and we would like to stay but it might not be our call because Keith might decide not to keep me-”

“Yeah, no, I don’t think he’d do that,” Hunk muttered.

“Galra are prone to strong mood swings and obsessions, and our offspring are given to being throwbacks. As in, we frequently have recessive traits pop up out of nowhere even in lines that are presumed to be pure.” Thace shrugged, then very deliberately kept his eyes from Kolivan. “But anyone who calls my son an abomination is going to eat so much chili oil he shits red for a week.”

Hunk’s jaw dropped, and Kolivan snorted. “Keith is a brave warrior and worthy of carrying his Blade. His spirit exhibits what a Galra _should_ be in a body that is too small to contain it.” He crossed his arms and looked down. “I would act as guard for your nest if you bred with a human, an olkari or a yepper. But I cannot say the same for other Blades and that is always my concern.”

“And. Wow. That got heavy really fast,” Hunk said when the silence progressed too long. “Um. Let’s get cooking, shall we?”

~*~*~*~*~

“I think that your dam has become angered with us,” Ulaz said softly.

Keith blinked, then rubbed his eyes at Ulaz. They had been examining the latest batch of data that Pidge and Hunk had extracted from Black, trying to think of a strategy for their next search vector. They had spent almost a week (movement? Right?) in the sector of space where the battle with Zarkon had happened.

Nothing.

Neither Ulaz or Keith had even considered giving up; they had merely sat down and started discussing possible ways to find a space needle in a cosmic haystack. 

It had been three days since Thace had come out of the ‘refresher, and asked Keith what had happened to his father. Keith had hemmed and hawwed, promptly becoming quite the generous host and offering to show Thace to his room and making sure he was comfortable there and oh, yes, he was too busy to talk because he was searching for Shiro with Ulaz. 

Thace had, at the time, seemed fine to drop it. But Keith had used this excuse to not eat with the others for the past two days.

Keith turned to follow Ulaz’s gaze, and swallowed hard.

There was a large mattress, laid out on the deck. It was piled with several Altean self-heating blankets and what had to be as many pillows as could be scavenged from the opened rooms. A tray floated above the deck and… 

Keith stumbled over to it, and picked up two pouches, handing one to Ulaz. Took a sip.

He tasted ice tea. 

His dad had always kept a pitcher of it, strong and sweet, in the fridge no matter where they had been while growing up. He had always used brown sugar, but beyond that, Keith had never figured out how he made it.

His shoulders hitched as he looked at the food, taking a deep breath. The stuff in the bowl was a strange shade of purple, but his nose told him it was chili, beside a crumbling, gritty wedge that had to be cornbread.

“Hm.” Ulaz took his own portion and tasted it. “I believe this is meant to be modeled after earth foods, yes?” There was some amusement in his voice. “It doesn’t taste Galran, and we did get a food shipment yesterday.”

Keith took the tray and guided it down to the level of the mattress, and folded down onto it. The smell and texture were almost perfect. The only thing it was missing was cheese. 

“I think Thace is trying to send a message,” Ulaz prompted, as he sat down beside Keith. “Perhaps to let you know you’ve been avoiding him?”

Keith swallowed. The chili burned with just the right amount of heat, and the faux-cornbread was crumbly and sour. “Yeah.”

“At this point, a physical search is impractical, if not impossible,” Ulaz said after a moment, stirring his bowl and watching the chili drip off his spoon. “I can continue checking the data about what happened. Unless there is a reason you are avoiding Thace?”

Keith frowned and bit his lip. “Maybe.”

“I can promise you, he would accept you with all of his heart. Unless he has done something to upset you?” 

Keith took a deep breath, wrapping his hands around his bowl. The heat coming through the thin metal nearly scorched his hands, but he didn’t care. “He… Thace asked about Dad.”

Ulaz frowned. “That would be expected.”

“Dad…They told me… I don’t know if Thace can forgive me for what happened.” The food tasted like ashes now. “I was stupid. And now Dad’s gone.”

Ulaz frowned. “I do not think there is anything you could do that would make Thace not care for you.”

Keith’s voice dropped to a whisper. “This might.”

“I have known Thace for much longer than your lifetime,” Ulaz said. He kept stirring the food; Keith noted, absently, that Ulaz hadn’t had much of an appetite since Shiro had disappeared. “He had been my mentor. And I took him from his family.” He went silent for several moments as emotions chased each other over his face. “It was many decapheobs before I could approach him without shame. But when I did, he forgave me.” He pushed aside his tray. “If you are willing to forgive him, I’m sure you can reconcile.”

Keith took a mouthful of the cornbread. It wasn’t all the same- the grit was different, it didn’t have the lye taste of hominy, but it did have some oddly crunchy bits that were hot as the jalapeno peppers he remembered. Ulaz shoved his tray over to Keith.

“Don’t you want your food?” Keith asked, and frowned. Ulaz’s fur was dull. 

Ulaz gave him half a shrug. “You would appreciate it more.”

“Too spicy?” 

“I find the smell is unappetizing,” Ulaz said, nose twitching, as a gurgle rose from his middle. Keith blinked as Ulaz grunted, closing his eyes as his ears twitched down in embarrassment. 

“I can run to the kitchen for some goo?”

“Don’t trouble yourself.” Ulaz weight shifted to his knees, about to get up, but Keith beat him there.

“The tea is good for your stomach when it’s upset,” Keith said quietly, with a pang of nostalgia. His father would go through a list of home remedies any time he was ill. Tea was usually at the top. “It’s not hot, but still. Try.”

Ulaz shook his head. “I don’t need-”

“Shiro would want you to take care of yourself,” Keith said, playing his trump card. Because Shiro would. 

“He would also want to be found.”

Keith knew there was an ugly truth that neither of them wanted to acknowledge. A manual search had been all but impossible after the first day, the second day they had tried because the Command Ship had left, and now past the third…

Shiro, if he was floating in deep space in his armor, would have died from dehydration already, and even if that hadn’t killed him, he would have been close to starving soon. He would have suffocated within the second day. If someone had found him, there was no sign, no ransom, no prisoner demands. Yet the very lack of evidence was enough to keep hope alive that Shiro had to be _somewhere_ , the vastness of space be damned. But all of the frantic searching in the universe wouldn’t do them any good if they couldn’t find any leads.

Their armor was equipped with a tracking device, but there had been nothing received. Like Shiro himself, the signal was gone like it had never existed. 

Keith had _known_ Shiro wasn’t dead during the year he was missing. Just had known. Like he had known about Blue, found Red, had known something was wrong with Black and that Shiro wasn’t there anymore. Like how he had known the druids were strange.

He wondered if Ulaz felt the same weird gap of Shiro being missing that he did. 

Even now he knew where everyone on the Castle was. Pidge was nearby, working on something with Hunk. Lance was at the pool. Allura and Coran were on the Bridge. Kolivan was in the training room and Thace-

Thace was standing beside the door to the hangar and had _probably_ heard most of their conversation.

He hunched his shoulders, but Ulaz was sitting on the mattress. He knew that Shiro would not be happy that Ulaz was neglecting himself to save him, and they still had time. 

“We know he’s alive,” Keith said, putting all of the feeling he could into the words. “I’ll take the data to Pidge and Hunk. They might be able to help analyse it faster. After that I can ask Kolivan if the Blades have heard anything.” He scoot closer to Ulaz, and gave him a shove, watching him tilt backwards onto the mattress. 

That was when he realized that he could see Thace… who was looking directly at him, trying to catch his eye. His Mama then looked at Ulaz, and covered his eyes, and then put a hand on the back of his neck.

Keith frowned. He wasn’t sure… He leaned down, putting his right hand over Ulaz eyes, and with his left, pet the soft short fur on the back of his neck.

Ulaz was out within seconds. Keith watched as Thace slunk in, cat-quiet, and eased a pillow under Ulaz’s head. Keith took this as a cue to grab a blanket and spread it over his big body. Thace put a finger over his lips- a human gesture for quiet- and beckoned Keith to follow.

They made it into the hall before Keith’s curiosity ate him alive. “What was that?”

“Whelp reflex,” Thace said quietly, and Keith realized he had taken Keith’s arm and was steering him down the hall. “It wouldn’t have worked if he hadn’t already been dead tired. Speaking of which, you should rest too.”

“I told Ulaz I would,” and Keith stopped, yawned, feeling his jaw crack and his bones creak, “I would talk to Hunk and Pidge and Kolivan.”

“There is time for that. If your friend is alive, he is not in immediate danger, and you both know this.” Thace guided him into the lounge, and Keith saw there was another pile of pillows and blankets. He puzzled at it for a moment, as Thace gently pushed him into it, before settling beside him. “What makes you think your friend is not dead?”

“You heard that?”

“Among other things,” Thace said vaguely. “How can you be so sure?” Keith blinked at him and frowned.

“Can’t you-” and now he waved his hands. “Don’t you know?”

A smile creased Thace’s lips as he reached out, pushing the hair out of Keith’s face. The touch sent a pleasant, warm tingle down his neck and he yawned again. “I don’t. You can feel another’s quintessence?”

Keith blinked and realized that Thace was purring… and that Keith had slumped against his arm. The soft rumble turned his muscles into jelly. “Don’t I get that from you? It’s not something humans have.” He had learned that after going to the Garrison. He had never had cause to question it before then, and he just as quickly learned to keep it to himself. 

“You did not.” Thace’s nose was against his forehead and Keith curled his knees up to his chest. “But I believe you when you say that you do.” The petting continued, and Keith found his eyes were about to slam shut. “Your father could do the same thing.”

“Dad?” Keith struggled to open his eyes. “What?”

“Later, we can talk about it. Don’t you want to sleep?” His words were soft, crooning, and Keith shook his head. He didn’t. He didn’t want to relax, because he couldn’t save either Dad or Shiro or-

The feeling of claws on the back of his neck had him pulling his knees in closer, curling into a ball. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “Mama, I’m sorry I lost Dad.”

“You didn’t, little one,” Keith heard, as Thace’s palm settled over his eyes, and Keith dropped into the warm cocoon of sleep. “And even if you did, we can find him again.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Season 6 was... wow. I'm still recovering. But I feel like I have a better idea of where I want to take this story now. Hopefully I'll be able to get over this writer's block and put some more stuff out there! 
> 
> Thoughts on season 6?

The silence was getting to be unnerving. 

Kolivan had glanced behind him, his wrist projector showing his latest report from the Blade of Marmora headquarters, about to ask for an opinion…

And exhaled when he was met with empty space, and his throat tightened with the urge to keen. He inhaled, sent the report, and turned the projector off as he continued through the halls of the ancient Altean vessel.

He could remember the tales of the Alteans his dam had shared when he was a whelp. They were beautiful, small and lithe, with completely untrustworthy ears. They would come in the night and take what you loved most. He had been young when he had heard those stories, huddled in a pile with his littermates in their nest while they were coaxed to sleep.

He had learned so much history when he had joined the Blade of Mamora, in their archives. That it was no simple matter of good versus evil. But even the best records would never prepare someone for seeing the real thing.

Or meeting the real thing.

The Princess’ ears were still, and her eyes were flat. Her adviser, the other Altean Coran, was at her right shoulder. 

“Ah, Kolivan,” she said, as if she had found him just now. Though the discomfort in her carriage belied that casualness. “I had wanted to see you.” She swallowed. “I was going to ask when you planned to return to your base?”

A fair question, and one he had expected, though not so soon. “I may be leaving within a few quintants. However, I will assign both Thace and Ulaz here for the time being.”

Her nose and mouth both pinched. “Why should I allow such a thing?”

Now Kolivan sagged. “Because Ulaz is deep in mourning. When Galra are held by strong emotions we are not rational. You know this. His feelings for the human Shiro sustained him through his undercover mission and after. If he is not allowed this outlet we might lose him to this grief.”

“So you would foist him on us?” she retorted, voice rising. “You would make him our problem, instead?”

Kolivan swallowed down a growl. “A problem? You would write-off finding your own Black Paladin so quickly, from someone who would be utterly devoted to his return?”

Allura flinched, but rallied. “We both know that Shiro is likely dead.” Kolivan frowned. “And I had thought your people would know how to put aside their emotions.”

The lack of Antok’s warmth ached like the void itself. “A good leader knows the limits of the people they lead. Both Ulaz and Thace are compromised in ways that make them useless to me, but potentially valuable to you.” He narrowed his eyes. “Unless you feel their sacrifices have no merit?”

And now he knew he had scored a hit on her. She had been there when Antok had died. She had gotten to see the damage that had been inflicted on Thace. She remembered Ulaz throwing himself at one of the witch’s abominations to save Voltron. 

Watching her lower her eyes didn’t give him any satisfaction, however. 

“Why is Thace compromised?” she asked. 

“He is a broody Galra who was in the military for many deca-phoebs. He was also tortured for quintants by the druids.” He paused, because it looked like Allura was about to protest again, and he could imagine her saying that the Blade should be able to treat their own people. “He is Keith’s dam.”

The silence, and the shock, on both of their faces was enough to bring Kolivan a moment of pleasure. “Thace is one of the few of us to lose his blade. I recognized it, and so did others as well. I’m sure you know of the taboo of breeding with non-Galra.” Both of the Alteans frowned and nodded. It was not a new concept; that Zarkon had chosen an Altean, and wedded her following Altean custom, had caused much controversy in the records. “I will leave Keith and Thace to work out their relationship alone.”

“Are you going to harm Keith?” Allura asked, frowning. 

“If we had wanted him to die during the trials, he would have.” They had pushed the boy in his pursuit of knowledge, but none had wished his death. “And I am not part of the military anymore. There is no protocol within the Blades that I have to kill the halfbreed.”

He clenched his fists and put his hands behind his back to shed the remembered weight of terrified, squirming whelp while cold water ran over his feet and up to knees. The heat of his commander’s eyes on his back was almost as punishing as the sun’s on his bare head and chest. 

He would never lay hands on another whelp. 

“Moreover, Thace will be able to function as a liaison while Ulaz is doing research. Both of them are well versed in our protocols and will be able to help you. While I can understand your distrust of my people, Princess, these two have done more than enough to have earned your trust, if not your gratitude.”

Allura’s lips thinned to a grimace before she nodded. “Very well, they can stay. Is Keith aware of their relationship?”

“He is.” At the time he had first met Keith, all Kolivan had was speculation. Antok had pestered him mercilessly about it, but offering Keith guesses when Thace was still alive was a disservice them both. “I do not believe they will cause trouble for you. My biggest concern now is that you have only four Paladins and no ability to form Voltron.”

Allura looked down and away. “Ulaz can continue his search for the time being.”

Kolivan nodded. There were no immediate threats, and they could start liberating planets with what they had in the meantime. “I will have Antok-” he started, then stopped. Took a long breath. He could mourn, properly, when no one was there to watch or to pity. Keep it buried, hidden, where was proper. The Blade of Marmora needed him to stay the same, regardless of his own…

“I will have my new second in command update you on places we can effectively strike to start liberating worlds, and from our spies on how the Empire is reacting,” he said, taking a precious moment to compose himself. 

But it seemed his short lapse had been noticed, and Allura’s eyes went round. “Kolivan.”

He shook his head, flinching away as she tried to touch his shoulder. “The Blade of Marmora’s mission has been to end Zarkon and the Empire for thousands of years. These are not our first losses. Nor will they be the last. I care for those who remain.”

He walked past her, feeling her eyes on his back as he walked. He wasn’t sure why he was going this direction, just that he needed the sounds of the living around him, not the echoes of the dead. He could feel footsteps on the deck, but they were too light and noisy. Even as a child, Antok had been able to move with silence.

He almost walked in on them.

The sight of Thace, the tips of his talons petting Keith’s black hair, had him come to a dead stop. Behind him, he felt Allura and Coran both collide with his back, but he only grunted at the impact. He forced them, and himself, to back away, shaking his head and drawing his sword.

“Kolivan- what-”

He turned to them and shook his head, pinching his forefinger and thumb together over his mouth; a gesture to whelps for silence. “They’re resting.” There was nostalgia and loss as he spoke those words. He could well remember the last time he had been at a dam’s nest. “Let’s leave them be.”

Coran seemed to catch on, and nodded to Kolivan. 

“What’s going on?” Allura protested, but she had lowered her voice with Kolivan, even as Kolivan folded his legs to kneel beside the door. 

“May we join you?” Coran said, speaking to Kolivan instead. Kolivan nodded; this gesture was more symbolic than anything else, but… some small good could come out of this nightmare. It eased his own mind, at least.

Allura watched them settle by the door, looking back and forth, before sitting down by Coran. They sat in silence for a short time, before the largest of the humans, Hunk, walked by.

“Uh, why are we…”

“Thace is with Keith,” Kolivan said, watching Hunk’s eyes widen. He had known of their relationship, and looked at them, then at the door. 

“Mother-son bonding time. Gotcha.” He settled on Kolivan’s side of the door. “The sitting is a Galra thing?”

“Yes,” Kolivan answered, but didn’t elaborate. They stayed for some time longer; the Blue Paladin arrived, glanced, shrugged, and attempted to casually sit next to the Princess, who… didn’t seem too averse.

Hm. That was a dynamic that might bear watching.

“Hokay. What’s with the sitting party?” The youngest, called Pidge (who really should still have been in her dam’s nest, still) asked, as she stepped past them. “Someone make a mess in the lounge?” 

Hunk gasped, and Kolivan was on his feet to stop her- when the door opened on its own.

Thace stood there, ears twitching back and forth, as he looked at the assembled paladins, princess, and his Leader. “Ah. I had thought we had gotten too much quiet.” 

There was stunned silence from the others; probably because Thace had Keith in his arms, face tucked up against his neck. The young man’s face was smudged and mottled with red, both of his hands fisting the front of Thace’s soft shirt. “I finally got him to rest,” Thace said, with the exasperated voice of all dams who could not get their sons to sleep. “Do you all mind?”

They parted, allowing Thace to walk between them. Another Galra would have noticed the embarrassed set of Thace’s ears and shoulders. He had likely hoped no one would catch him carrying Keith to his room. Instead, a procession followed them back. 

“Why is Thace treating Keith like a baby?” Lance hissed to the Princess, who coughed and looked down. 

“Ah, well-”

Keith hadn’t stirred until that moment; that he had been so exhausted had been why Thace could pick him up. Purring had kept him that way, but the sound of their voices had him creaking, before mumbling “Mama?”

Silence. For about a tic.

Lance started hooting like a surprised yelmore. “Keith just called Thace his-” The laughter dissolved into gasping and gaping as realization dawned. Pidge, however, had put together the clues much faster and was staring at both Keith and Thace with a watery smile. 

It was amusing, to see Thace and Keith, as one, both lift fists and extend their middle fingers in Lance’s direction.

“And if we needed proof that Thace had been to Earth, there we have it,” Pidge said dryly, but she was still smiling. “So. Um…”

Thace put Keith on his feet, one of his massive hands on Keith’s back as Keith rubbed the smudges off his face. “Yeah. This is. Thace is. My,” he took a deep breath, looking up at Thace, who nodded faintly. “Mother. I think the Galra use…”

“A different language,” Thace cut in. And this time, he sounded Earther, but the translator microbes were making him sound like he came from a planet on the outskirts of the Empire. “Best translation that Jake and I came up with is “dam” though that still is associated with gender in English. I don’t mind mother, or Mama, though.”

“Why do you sound like a country hick?” Lance asked.

Keith covered his face with his hands. “Because my Dad taught him Texas English.”

“Glad you found … him?” Pidge asked, the question obvious in her voice. 

“Alien,” Thace answered, waving a hand. “Think, uh... We’d talked… sort of like- I guess the game would be old now. Mass Age? Dragon- Dragon something.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Jake- Keith’s father, had compared it to a story. Elfs.” 

“Dragon Age?” Pidge replied, eyes wide. “I get it! Okay, so we know why Keith looks human then. Sort of.”

“You have girl parts?” Lance was tilting his head to the side. “You look- the hell-”

Kolivan was tempted to cuff him, but Hunk beat him to it. “Aliens, remember? Just because they stand upright and look kinda male doesn’t mean anything will be the same.”

Kolivan didn’t miss the nervous glance towards Allura, who met Lance’s eyes with a lifted eyebrow.

“And you, seriously, are considering dating a rock?”

Keith was quiet, but he didn’t move as Thace kept rubbing his back. “I should have told you after I found out, but…”

“It is a taboo topic, among Galra, though an open one,” Kolivan said. “Those who choose to breed with aliens are usually treated cruelly if they are discovered.”

Thace’s ears pinned back. “Right.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not to mention what usually happens to their whelps.” He put his hand on Keith’s shoulder and squeezed. 

“What happens?” Keith asked. “Not the first time you’ve implied it would have been bad for me.”

“It depends.” And everyone turned to Kolivan. “If the whelp is wanted, they are hidden away, either with the Clan or the non-Galra parent. In circumstances like Thace’s, you were definitely wanted, Keith.”

“And… unwanted?” They turned to Allura, who had crossed her arms.

“If the child is full Galra, they are usually left with a state-run creche. They are trained as soldiers,” Thace said, taking up the story. “If they are not Galra, the whelp is put down.”

The look of horror on the paladins’, and the Princess’s, faces was shocked. “That’s…”

“And the dam?” Keith asked, lips in a thin line, eyes bright as he reached for his Thace’s hand. “What happens to him?”

“He is corrected,” Kolivan answered. He grimaced and looked away. “Usually by his commanding officer if he is still part of the military. Then the resulting whelp is given to the army.”

“Doesn’t sound so ba- wait.” Now Lance was changing colors. He looked green. “Corrected as in…”

Keith had pressed his side against Thace, holding his thumb and two of his fingers tightly as he scowled. “You were safe, and no one found out,” Thace told him. “That’s what mattered.”

Kolivan looked away. “You were lucky.” He could feel Thace’s question, but he didn’t meet his eyes. “Clans on the outskirts of the Empire are usually mixed blood. We joke about small populations, animals and inbreeding, but it is a fact of life. If you are lucky enough to be posted far away from the hub- and relatively speaking, everything not within the same galaxy is far away- a lax commander often will ignore lapses. Within a century of being conquered, it is almost guaranteed that a garrison will have family housing and a quarter of the natives will be mixed. Two hundred decaphoebs and three to four generations conquered? The native species has enough children that look Galra enough to pass and can join the local Garrison. Pay enough bribes and your paperwork says you are a full citizen and your offspring may never know of their mixed blood until it is too late.”

“Yeah. That’s pretty fucked up.” Kolivan looked over to Hunk. Both Thace and Hunk had a gaze that looked below the surface, and Kolivan did his best to stay inscrutable. “And this has been happening for ten thousand years?”

“Yes.”

“Well. Ding-dong, the evil Zarkon’s dead,” Lance added, not-so-casually throwing an arm around Allura’s shoulders. She eased herself free.

Kolivan blinked when Thace’s ears twitched with suppressed humor. “Well, you are munchkins-”

Pidge looked up. “Hey!” Then her eyes brightened. “You get Earth jokes! Oh man this is going to be great!”

Thace’s ears twitched as he changed the subject. “Leader, you wished to speak with me?”

He hadn’t, really, just wanted to be around people. “You are assigned to the castle ship, with Ulaz, for the duration. You will be a liason to the Blade of Marmora while you are here.” He smiled. “I will be returning to base to appoint a new second soon.”

Thace’s expression softened. “Will you invite us for the memorial?”

Kolivan nodded. “Of course.”

“Memorial?” Allura asked. She tilted her head in confusion. 

“We of the Blade of Marmora know that we may be called at give our lives. But those lives are remembered and mourned. We would be honored if you would join us, Princess,” Kolivan said.

Allura nodded. 

Thace began combing Keith’s hair with his fingers. The sight of Thace with his whelp, when Kolivan himself had to arrange for a memorial, had his throat closing to keen. 

“I will take my leave then,” he told them all, and pushed his way through the small crowd.

~*~*~*~*~

“They’re going to interrogate you,” Keith warned Thace.

Thace had insisted that Keith get at least six vargas of sleep and an hour of gym time before he tried to go searching. 

“I survived several days with the druids,” Thace said, switching to English. “I lived in the Galran military hierarchy for most of my adult life. I think I can handle being climbed over by human whelps.”

“Hey, they’re not-”

“They’re cute,” Thace said as they walked into the lounge for breakfast.

“Who’s cute?” Lance asked, looking up from his bowl of… red… porridge?

“You are. Humans are very cute.”

“They do have their charms,” Allura replied. “Though they are not the most beautiful species in the universe.”

“Hey! I am very cute!” Lance protested. 

Thace had wrinkles crinkling at the corner of his eyes. “Well, we can’t all be Galra,” he replied. 

“And _you_ have a sense of humor,” Pidge accused. Thace tilted his head while looking at her. “So. Yeah. We got questions.”

Thace nodded, took a seat on a sofa, pulling his feet up. “I’ll give you what I can.”

Keith frowned. 

The interrogation, such as it was, was less painful than Keith had feared. There were questions he had expected- 

“I was looking for the Blue Lion, but hadn’t expected to find it. Earth was on a list, and the farthest away. I was having… a difficult time, and needed to get away. So I had no real impetus to search. Imagine my surprise when I actually found something.”

“Well, it’s a long story. There are chickens involved.”

“Ah, well, it was becoming obvious they were getting closer to Earth. Ulaz came and… here I am.”

Most of the comments were without context, especially when they got a little personal. Thace kept a smile on his face, his body language at ease. That was, until Pidge decided to ask -

“I’ve been looking through the records that Ulaz let us download. I’m trying to find my family. When Shiro was caught, did you ever hear anything about the two prisoners that were with him?” She took a deep breath. “Sam and Matt Holt?”

“Holt?” He twisted, surging to his feet like a frightened cat presenting his flank. “Wait.” He sidled closer, and Pidge cringed away as he sank to his knees, leaning in to smell her hair. 

“You’re- You’re _Birdie’s_ whelp?”

“Y-you- that- who?” Pidge was panting; lips trembling as Thace leaned away. Despite having come off as calm and gentle before, he radiated intensity now. 

Keith blinked. “Who is Birdie?”

Thace fell back, covering his face to laugh. “The reason Jake and I survived as long as we did.” He made a shuddering breath. “Colleen Holt, Keith. She had been spying on us, but decided I meant no harm.” He kept laughing for a moment, trying to keep his face covered while the rest of the team leaned away. “I doubt I would have survived your birth without her aid. Jake certainly wouldn’t have.” He lowered his hands; Keith got the impression he would have been crying if Galra could cry. “I owe her and her family a debt. We would never have escaped the Garrison without her help.”

“Wait- the Garrison-”

Thace shook his head, ears twitching and down. “No. I can’t- not yet. But names were not in their records. However, I did track them to the best of my ability, but I have been unable to receive reports for some time.”

“So you don’t know anything,” Pidge said, shoulders sagging. 

“I knew their last location months ago. I had to focus my energies on Prorok and his attempts to find Voltron afterwards. But… I have an idea.” He crossed his legs under him. “Do you happen to have something that belonged to Sam or Matt?” 

“Uh…” She fiddled with the lenses on her face. “Why?”

“This is a long shot. Keith. Did you know Matt or Sam Holt?”

Keith jolted. He hadn’t really been apart of this conversation, despite half of it being about him. “What? No.”

“Then this might not work. Pidge, do you have something?”

She nodded, taking the glasses off her face and offering them. “No, give them to Keith.”

“Thace, what are you-” the glasses dropped into his hands. They were light plastic with aluminum; almost no weight at all. “What do you expect me to do?”

“Whose are these?”

“My brother’s,” Pidge said, looking confused. 

“Keith. Is Matt Holt alive?” Thace asked, and Keith stared at him, at the glasses, at Pidge, and back again. 

“How should I know?” They were getting warm. 

“You know what your friends feel like. They’re here. But Matt is somewhere else,” Thace went on. He could hear whispers from the others- Allura and Coran were all but shouting, and Keith was shaking his head. 

“I know that, but-”

“You would know if he were dead, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.” Keith didn’t realize what he had said until he had said it. “I mean- I mean-” He took a deep breath, looked at the glasses. Put them on. Took them off. He knew everyone was staring at him. “He’s alive.”

“Whoa- Keith- how do you-” and this was Hunk, flapping his hands. “Is this like a Galra thing? Because this must totally be a Galra thing, Galra Keith.”

“It is not a Galra thing,” both Thace and Coran said at the same time. 

“I mean, sensing energy is a thing sacred Alteans can do, the druids can do, the Olkari can do it as well,” Allura added. “Are you sure you can feel his energy?”

“Black Lion feels strange, like- like she’s hiding something,” Keith muttered. “Blue is calm. She smells like rain. Yellow is a big rock. Tough as granite. Green is watching over your shoulder, Pidge, she wants you to turn the page of your reader. Red is swearing because she thinks I’m upset. She does that.”

“You hear them?” Allura asked. Keith couldn’t meet her eyes. He just kept them on the floor and shrugged.

“Keith,” and Thace got to his feet, and settled beside him on the sofa. “You get this from your sire.” He brushed his fingers through Keith’s hair. “He had a knack for being in the right place, at the right time, but if you asked he could never tell you how. He found me, after I ate his chickens. I had left no trace. Those stupid, tasty birds had found me. He knew I was hiding in his barn, even when I had made no noise. He managed to put himself into the right position to shield me and his nephew and niece from harm, when the bullet could have hit any of us and I was too big and slow to move.” He smiled. “He took me to the Blue Lion after I asked him to find the wet place in the desert, and he understood what I meant.”

Keith still didn’t meet his eyes. “Then why did- why did he leave?”

“You really think he would have? On purpose?” 

Keith shook his head. 

“Then let’s find Matt and Sam. And after that? We can find Jake.” He pressed his forehead to Keith’s, who met his eyes. “Beautiful boy. You can do this.”

Keith blinked back the wetness in his eyes, and focused, squeezing the glasses between his fingers, and straightened his arm, and pointed. 

“He’s that way.”


	4. Chapter 4

Keith had found himself in front of the Black Lion before.

He wasn’t quite sure how he had gotten there. He had finally begged off the attention that came from Thace asking him to help Pidge- he hadn’t minded _helping_ , he did mind that Hunk, Pidge and Coran had frog-marched him down to the med-bay to test him- because they asked him about Shiro.

“So you know that Shiro is alive? Like you know how Matt is alive?” Pidge had asked, in his face, as he leaned away as far as he could get. 

Keith finally had to shrug and say they weren’t the same.

“What? What does that even mean, Psychic Galra Keith?” Hunk had protested. Keith’s eyebrow had twitched.

“It’s not like- I mean it’s like-” he tried not to flap his hands, because he couldn’t find the words. “It’s like-” Flap. “Space. There’s like- like water. People who are alive fill up a space in the water. And when they die they become part of the water again.”

“So Shiro is-”

“Not water. Just. Empty. There’s a hole that’s shaped like Shiro but I can’t tell what’s inside.” He wished he had better words for it.

He had escaped as soon as he could after that. They had looked at him strangely when he had told everyone he had Galra-blood. Allura had gone cold, distant, and treated him like a wild animal. ~~(And it wasn’t the first time. He remembered teachers and foster parents all talking about him, asking him not to fight, to calm down-)~~

Now, they were looking at him like-

He’d never really considered it special or interesting. Dad hadn’t. It was obvious where everything was. Be where you should.

He just… had no idea why he should be there, in front of Black, _right now._

She had her mouth open, lowered; not for him. She knew he was there, and she thought it was okay, but she had allowed someone else in. 

A raspy voice echoed inside, distorted. It took a few moments for the translator to force meaning out. 

“... never considered that there would be a future without you,” Ulaz murmured. “Facing this, I don’t know how-”

Keith eased himself closer, watching sight of Ulaz’s reflection in the glossy wall of the cockpit. The pale Galran had wrapped himself up in a blanket, legs folded up and knees under his chin in Black’s pilot chair. One arm hung loose as he spun his Marmora blade- in knife form- between his fingers. 

“I should have told you, before the battle,” Ulaz went on. “You- you damn human.” He laughed, without humor. More of a sob. “Tested twice. Should have realized, after what happened with Thace and Keith-” a sound like claws on leather. “How can I do this without you?” The light from the blade vanished, and Keith swallowed as it danced between Ulaz’s fingers.

“I don’t even know if you would-” he choked again, and it turned into a long, pained keen. 

Keith had no idea what to do. But he couldn’t hold still any longer when Ulaz’s grip tightened on his knife, shifting his grip so the tip pointed at himself-

“No!” he cried, stepping forward. And, maybe stupidly, drawn his own knife, caught the knife with the guard of his and yanked sideways. Ulaz grip had been less than solid; his knife went clattering to the deck. “Ulaz, what are you doing?”

He blinked tired, bleary eyes at him. “Nothing. I am… nothing.”

Keith took a long breath. “Shiro- he wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” He stepped into Ulaz space. “He wouldn’t give up. You know that. Not on you, not on any of us.”

Ulaz’s nostrils flared, and he curled up on himself tighter. “I am… Not well, right now.” His shoulders slumped. 

“What’s wrong? Do you want me to get Thace? Or Coran?”

“I do not know if they could help me in this,” Ulaz said, voice barely above a whisper. “Or they could but…” He pulled in tighter. “I fear telling them something, because I am not ready to make the decision yet.”

Keith’s heart froze. “What decision?” If he was going to stop helping him search for Shiro-

Ulaz looked at him, blinked several times and then away. “I carry Shiro’s whelp.”

Keith stared, pulse pounding in his ears. “What?”

“I think you are somewhat familiar with how it works, are you not? Perhaps from the opposite direction.” And now Ulaz gave him a faint smile. “You and I can both agree that Shiro was quite attractive.” Ulaz, somehow, made himself smaller. “And I foolishly thought my precautions were adequate.”

“So.. you’re like Thace? You’ve-”

Ulaz nodded. “Most Blades shift over earlier than most other Galra.” He shrugged one shoulder. “We rarely sire offspring before joining, and afterwards, even less so.”

Keith blinked. “Why?” 

“Could you imagine putting your own whelp in danger? Or knowing that you are likely to die young and leave your precious one without your protection?” Ulaz replied. “I cannot. Most of us could not, unless the circumstances were dire. Thace had obviously not planned to return to us, until I sought him out.” He sighed, and put his hand on his middle. “I had planned to tell Shiro, after the battle was done. I didn’t want him distracted.”

Keith nodded, easing in closer. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. It was my foolishness.” He shuddered. “Would he be happy, you think? You knew him as well as I. Would he be angry?”

“No, no,” Keith protested. He had already put his hand on Ulaz shoulders. “He would be happy. I think. I mean, he would probably be really surprised. I don’t think he had thought it about it. But he loved you,” and Keith knew that. Which was why Keith felt like there was glass in his lungs, but that didn’t matter. “He loved you. He would be okay with this.”

“I am afraid,” Ulaz said, barely audible. 

Keith shook his head, and squeezed Ulaz shoulders, before falling to his knees. “We- I’m going to help you, okay? Shiro wouldn’t want you to give up on yourself. And I won’t, either. I know that- Mama said that bad things could happen. So we won’t. This kid is-” Keith felt a growl in his chest that he fought down. “This kid is going to grow up with family and friends and be happy. I promise.”

Ulaz curled up tighter, and looked away. “Really?”

Keith nodded, lips spread in a grim line. “What do you need?”

For such a large person, Ulaz tried so hard to disappear into the chair. “Right now? I just- time. To be able to keep looking. To find Shiro.”

“We’re not giving up on Shiro, either.” There was movement, out of the corner of his eye, and Keith shivered like someone had stepped on his grave. But nothing was there. “We will find him and… We’ll figure this out.”

Ulaz nodded to him. “Thank you, Keith.” He paused. “He spoke about you. Often. Shiro and I had a relationship that is different from yours, but I feel it was no less valuable. You know that, right?”

Keith felt his face redded at this shift in topic. “I- I don’t think-”

“I felt that my best friend and mentor had betrayed everything, for a time,” Ulaz went on. “Until I realized how much he loved your father. How much he adored you. I hadn’t understood, then. I felt such resentment. I had to forgo my own feelings. But I do now.” He met Keith’s eyes, now. “I understand why you are angry with me.”

“No!” Keith said, willing the lie to be truth. He did resent Ulaz, didn’t he? The only person to blame was himself; Shiro had no reason to notice his feelings. “You saved Shiro. You helped him when I couldn’t. Loved him when I-” Keith said, stopped. Choked. “He’s not a prize. He was happy with you. And I owe you for that.”

“Keith. You don’t.” Ulaz put a hand on his face. “I-”

“I want to help you. You aren’t alone here.” He felt Ulaz wipe at tears he hadn’t realized he had shed. “And I won’t be the only Galra-human anymore. So neither of us will be alone.” 

Ulaz went very, very still, jaw dropping.

A moment later he pulled Keith in. He almost enveloped Keith, but Keith somehow managed to wrap his arms around Ulaz’s head and neck, rocking him. “We’ll figure this out,” he muttered, over and over again. Not sure who he was talking to.

Himself, Ulaz, maybe even the whelp.

Maybe even the odd reflection in the Lion out of the corner of his eye.

~*~*~*~*~

 

“You… may not all want to come with us,” Allura said, standing in front of the Paladins on the Bridge, crossing her arms and frowning. Kolivan had just contacted them, let them know that Antok’s memorial would be in a quintant. “I expect you will not enjoy the experience.”

“Why not?” Keith tilted his head to the side to look at Allura. “I don’t think we’ll be bringing flowers and a covered dish, but… it’s a funeral, right?”

Allura’s lips thinned. “If you choose to go with us, then you’ll see what I mean. Though it may not be as bad. The Galra had differing rites depending on their particular tribe. It may have changed after the destruction of Daibazaal, but some were distinctly less… distasteful, than others.”

“What, what?” Keith crossed his arms, frowning. “What’s Daibazaal?”

“And why was it destroyed?” Hunk said, following him up.

“The… Galra homeworld,” she said, slowly. “It is a very long story. One we do not have time to go into now.” She exhaled. “If there were an option for _me_ not to go, I would prefer it. The few I read about varied but the themes themselves were… not something I relished.” She covered her mouth.

“Then don’t,” Keith said. “I’ll go. I’ll explain that you’re... um... “ He flapped his hands. “Got a cold.”

“I’ll go too,” Hunk said, also standing. Keith could almost hear the wheels in everyone’s head turn. “Come on. We don’t know anything about Galra culture. The Blade of Marmora have been the first real help we’ve gotten. And while I sure as hell don’t like Zarkon and the Central Command- I don’t want to _keep_ hating _all_ the Galra. Especially when we have Galra Mom and Galra Doc here.”

Allura and Coran stared at each other; Coran stroked his mustache. “Can’t see a reason why you shouldn’t go.”

Allura shuddered. “Well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

~*~*~*~*~

They followed the coordinates that Kolivan had given them, to arrive on a planet that… didn’t have the same sort of protections on it as the main base, so flying there wasn’t a problem. They landed in the interior of one of four large continents, between a mountain range and a sea, at the edge of a huge grove of silver trees. The vegetation, Keith noted, as they stepped out, was a in shades of indigo, and the cool evening air hummed with buzzing and chirps as they walked.

Together the departed the Red Lion, and Keith could feel Hunk’s eyes on their Galrans. “So. Yeah. What’s with the pink?” he asked, gesturing towards both of their left arms. Both were dressed in Marmora armor, but there was a pink band tied around their upper biceps.

“Pink is used to honor fallen warriors,” Thace answered. “It is the combination of red and white. Red is the blood shed by comrades together, and white represents the ashes of the dead.” His ears tilted in a way that Keith was getting used to. It meant he was amused. “When I was on Earth, it was a surprise to see so many children and infants dressed so grimly. I was relieved with Keith’s father seemed to prefer to dress him in other colors.”

Keith flushed and ducked his head, before taking one that was offered to him. 

They continued walking towards a small clearing, passing by the many trees. The trees themselves, though… He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out- but withdrew his hand almost immediately as his throat closed and his eyes burned. It felt like grief. 

“Greetings,” a voice called. Together, they all turned to see Kolivan, who stood at the edge of a forest. Like Thace and Ulaz, and now Hunk and himself, he also wore a pink armband. 

Keith remembered the first time he had met Kolivan; he had seemed strong. Inscrutable. Mysterious. Handsome. Now his cheeks were sunken, thick lines cut into his face, and Keith was surprised he couldn’t see the sunlight shining through him. 

He looked like he was the guest of honor of at the funeral, rather than the one holding it.

“We are here to honor Antok,” Keith said, stepping close and offering his forearm. He could feel Thace’s eyes on his back. To his surprise, Kolivan took it. “When do we begin?”

Together they walked through the forest, towards about a half-dozen Marmora, all of them wearing the pink armbands. Keith had to keep wiping at his eyes; the entire forest smelled like tears and mourning; frustration and futility. His chest felt tight.

“Before our homeworld’s destruction, many tribes or clans would have a sacred space, and would plant a grove of these trees. Others would have cairns, or platforms for sky-burials. The founder of our order managed to salvage a few and brought them here.” He guided them to a small sapling. “We plant a new one for each fallen warrior. It is fed with the ashes of the fallen, and watered with our blood. This way, life continues.”

Hunk went green. “How much blood?”

Thace and Ulaz looked at each other. “A few drops, at most. If it bothers you that much-”

“No, no, I’ll do it. I mean, I got warned.” He grimaced. “And I don’t want to disrespect the funeral and all but-” he let out a full body shudder, took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. 

“Thank you,” Koivan said, and then nodded towards the clearing. The Marmora were surrounding a… platform, made of some sort of stone. On it, covered in a white shroud, was Antok. 

“You recovered his body?”

“We took him with us when we fled the command ship,” Kolivan answered. “I had him in cryostorage.”

“Oh.” Keith looked around. “Why so few?” He knew there had to be more Blades than this.

“Only close friends and family come to funerals,” Ulaz answered, walking over to the stone platform. Keith watched his back; three days of Keith fussing over him to sleep and eat more and he looked _slightly_ better than Kolivan. Keith was afraid he would need back-up to keep the Galra doctor healthy.

The others took this as a signal and joined them- and the platform caught fire, incandescent, hot and bright as a nova. 

“I remember Antok as a child,” Kolivan spoke, and removed his gauntlet. He quickly pricked one of his fingers, letting the blood drip into a simple metal cup. “Rambunctious and ever climbing. His litter-mates could never keep up. He had been a strong whelp, and his dam was proud. He is with them now.”

The cup passed to the left, and a new Marmora named Regris took it. He shared a small story of comparing tails with Antok, who bragged that his was the most beautiful, voice choked as he let his own blood drip. Thace and Ulaz followed suit. Thace told of a time Antok had come to him for advice on flirting, Ulaz with a time Antok had been injured and fought on, despite all odds to protect his friend. The small cup continued to fill as it went around; Keith soon found it in his hands.

He stared down into the blood. It was the same color as his own. “I didn’t know you, Antok,” he admitted, when there was silence. “But I wish I had. I enjoyed fighting you during my trials.” He took off his own glove, drew his knife and pricked his thumb, squeezing. 

“He bounced you off the deck,” Ulaz replied.

“Yeah. I know.” Keith watched his blood mingle with the others. “Good fight.”

Soft laughter.

There was a moment of awkwardness when it came to Hunk, who looked at Keith with a bit of panic. “Keith. I. I have never asked anyone to do this in my life. Uh.” He was squirming. “Can you- um- “ he fumbled with his own gauntlet. “Is that knife sharp? Is it clean?”

Keith opened his mouth-

“I have a first aid kit,” Ulaz answered. “You’ll be fine.” He pat Hunk on the back fondly. “You are wise to be concerned. Viruses would be unlikely, but blood-borne bacteria are a possibility.”

Hunk cringed, closed his eyes, and flung his arm out at Keith, who still held the cup. “Just- just do it, man.”

Keith took his wrist, and quickly pricked Hunk’s thumb, and squeeze it, watching it bead up and roll into the cup. “Finished,” he said, noting that Hunk was starting to turn gray. “You can breathe now.” The cup was passed on. 

Before them, the fire of Antok’s pyre flared before it died to embers, and the embers cooled to white powder. Kolivan approached, and scooped some of the ashes into the cup.

“We keep him with us.” He returned to the circle, and took the cup to his lips. No more stories were shared, silent as they looked into the cup and drank. 

Keith was familiar enough with the taste of his own blood that the taste didn’t bother him, when his turn came; a little more sweet and metallic, perhaps. Grit and salt. Hunk, bless him, turned green but didn’t vomit. His Dad would have called that a seventh day miracle.

The rest of the ceremony was no surprise. Kolivan carried the cup and the remaining ashes to a hole under a small sapling and buried it there. He put his hand on the tree, leaving a red handprint behind. 

The other Marmora did the same with Keith last in line, and Keith bit down a moan; the grief and mourning in the blood and bark nearly sent him to his knees. Thace caught him as he swayed back, and guided him down as he desperately pawed at his face to stop his blubbering.

“You okay?” Hunk asked, sitting beside him. “I’m supposed to be the one who gets weepy and sick at stuff.” He peered into Keith’s face. “You’re… really off-color right now.”

Keith shook his head, then shrugged, wiping his nose. “It’s- loss. So much loss. They died alone and in pain, even if they knew but it’s taken so long and-” 

He felt Thace behind him. “Keith. Close it off.” Mama pressed his hands to the sides of Keith’s face. “Make it small.” Thick, calloused fingers, and the barest hint of claws, stroked his cheeks. “Don’t let it overwhelm you.”

Keith sucked in a long breath, trying to pull himself in. Reaching out, lately- it made walling off harder. He had gotten used to it, to _not_ touching, before. Now it was almost as painful as to pull back as to reach.

But he did. The tears abated, and he wasn’t really that surprised when Thace handed him a towel to wipe his face.

A few moments later, Ulaz arrived, and he placed small boxes, wrapped in gray cloth, in front of each of them, gently ignoring Keith as he leaned into Thace’s shoulder while he calmed himself. “Eat. Grief makes others forget to care for themselves,” he said, and Hunk was already reaching forward- before stopping.

“This isn’t, like, made with- I don’t know- bone meal or something?”

“Not Antok’s,” Ulaz answered, before chuckling. Keith smiled a bit, and pushed his portion towards Ulaz. 

“I don’t have an appetite. You need this more,” Keith told him. Ulaz wrinkled his nose, but didn’t object. Keith watched everyone eat- Hunk got the food down and started puzzling through the ingredients, Mama and Ulaz were sharing more stories about Antok- before squeezing Mama’s shoulder and getting to his feet to stretch his legs. His head itched. He needed to be someplace else.

He walked a little bit away, instinct prompting him to turn right and in. 

He let himself meander through. The loss and grief still echoed, but it wasn’t the same horror as before. Just echoes. Terrible echoes, but still.

He stepped on a twig, breaking the silence, and a large body jumped like it had been startled.

“Keith?” Kolivan asked, bare hand on his blade. “What are you-”

“Um.” He started rocking back and forth, trying not to look Kolivan directly in the face. “Uh… just… looking around. Through a dark forest made of graves. By myself.”

Kolivan lifted an eyebrow. “I see.”

“You?”

Kolivan turned back to the tree- no, trees, there were three, intertwined and woven together- he had been facing. “Paying my respects.”

Keith walked over. He could smell blood trailing throughout the forest. “They’re all Blades?”

Kolivan shook his head. “Not always. Few of us have families, but if we can keep them together we will.” He put his hand on a tree, leaving a bloody handprint behind. “These are Antok’s littermates and dam. I was able to have them brought here, after…”

Keith edged closer. “What happened?”

“Antok was not a pure Galran, but he could pass. His two brothers could not.” Kolivan swallowed. “Both his sire and dam were mixed blood. They hid his littermates, as best they could, but eventually the Patrol commander found them out.” He exhaled. “His dam, the local Garrison commander, died protecting them… but it wasn’t enough.”

Keith licked his lips; he could taste Antok’s blood in the corners of his mouth. “Why-”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Keith looked at Kolivan’s hand. Even in the dim light, he could see it had been slashed thoroughly. “The consequences of being mixed-blood.” He tilted his head to the side. “I’m happy that you and Thace have found each other. I applaud that Ulaz has someone he would die for. But so many of us are set in our ways.” He leaned in the tree. “His men just watched while he was gunned down,” Kolivan exhaled. “And now _all_ of his children are gone.”

Keith swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. But. But you’re here, and you and the Blade. You’re changing that.”

“Does it matter, when my people allow this?” he said, crouching down. “My Blades are committed to bringing down the Empire. But we have no idea what to be afterwards.” He touched the tree again. 

Shiro would have been able to inspire him, Keith knew. Hell, anyone of the other Paladins would be better at this. But Kolivan looked like he was about to fly apart and that- He didn’t like that. 

“You can be. Better.” He shuffled over. Shiro would have- he had no idea what Shiro would have done. But his dad would have put his hand on his back. So he did. Carefully. “You can love, too.”

Kolivan straightened, his yellow eyes glowing in the dark. “I doubt I am worthy of such a thing.”

“No one is.” He remembered his Dad, picking him up and swinging him. He remembered pictures of Thace holding him like he was a treasure. He had seen Shiro and Ulaz looking at each other with such devotion it broke time. “But that doesn’t mean you deserve it less.”

Koliva got to his feet, chuckling softly. “You are young.”

“Well. Yeah.” Keith side-eyed him. “The Blade of Marmora is fighting to stop Zarkon. But,” god what would Shiro say “We have to fight for something, too.” He shifted his weight. “I’m… not really good at the inspiring thing.” He looked down at the tree. For some reason, it felt quieter than the others. He reached out, and rubbed his thumb over the tree, letting the wound re-open and stain it.

“I’m sorry about Antok,” he said. “So all of his family is gone?”

“His dam’s Clan still has a stronghold in the outer Empire. So cousins, his dam’s siblings. He joined the Blade young, and never sired whelps himself.” 

“What about his sire?” That was important. For some reason. 

“He lives.”

The whole sires and dams things was pretty weird. “Were they close?”

Kolivan huffed. “Antok was his very shadow.”

“Oh.” Keith tried not to fidget. “Is there anything I can do for you? I mean. If this was back home, our funeral rites usually involved, um.” He remembered going to Shiro’s grandfather’s wake. That had involved black suits and giving money and getting a bag of green tea afterwards. With his Dad, he had gone when their elderly neighbor had died. He remembered his Dad offering to fix up his widow’s house (and before, helping out with moving him when he had stopped being able to walk.) “Usually give people food, flowers, and help. If you need it.”

It… bothered him. Kolivan had been rude, harsh, but Antok’s death had meant so much to him. He did care. 

“What we need is peace. We need hope.” Kolivan touched the tree again. “We need Voltron. Can you do that, Keith?”

Shiro’s wish for him to lead the others were a weight around his neck. The only person who deserved to pilot the Black Lion was gone. Keith wasn’t worthy of shining Shiro’s boots.

But people needed him. Them. 

“I don’t know, Kolivan,” he whispered, and he could feel the hopes and prayers of thousands of Blades, calling to someone or something that had never answered. “But… I can try.”


End file.
